The Eye of the Beholder

Just a wee interlude while I incubate something else….

There I was there other day listening to the Beatles White Album (listening to my youth if I’m honest) when up comes grandson, age 10 and a keen thesbian. “Granny, you know what? Those songs are just like the ones we sing for panto”. Well, thanks for putting me right Sunny Bear, here was me thinking it was nothing less than some of the finest music of the 20th century!

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You might think this is just an excuse to include a picture of my favourite Beatle. You might be right!

Perfect Moments

Looking at old photos can be a bittersweet experience. There are often very mixed sentiments involved in remembering those captured moments. Perhaps because it’s painful to look back at a time that is lost and regretted. Or because the smiles were just for the camera and were hiding some personal turmoil. The pictures can only record a single moment, but looking at them can sometimes stir up a whole complicated set of emotions. I suppose its inevitable that as you get older you are increasingly remembering people that are no longer with us or a self that that seems long gone.

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A moment full of hopes and dreams from our wedding in 1974. Both sets of parent and Father Gerry Hughes, have since passed away, as has our marriage. But it’s a lovely memory nonetheless, and one I can look back on with fondness.

But you can’t keep looking back at the past and blaming yourself for the way things turned out, the if-only’s. I confess that sometimes that tendency is there in me. And then I have to remind myself that the only way to heal is to forgive yourself for your shortcomings and understand that you did the best you could at the time. It’s human to get waylaid by wishing that things could have been different. The trick is to remember that our history is what makes us the people we are today, inevitably older, but hopefully wiser and more tolerant too.

So, while there will always be a few ghosts along the way when we delve into our past, there are also, happily, some moments of perfect joy. Moments which encompass so much more than just the image, but all the emotions associated with it. For me, many of those moments centre around my children and grandchildren, from the instant I first held them in my arms to all the small childhood tragedies and triumphs along the way, when yet another little bit of your heart is captured and gladly given away.

One such instance comes from decades ago, a sunny day at the beach when we’d packed the children into the car for an impromptu picnic, not something we did all that often. It was when we were living in Holland near the border with Germany, so the beach was one on the banks of the River Rhine – there are sandy beaches along its length just at that point. Anyway, the children had run down to the water’s edge and were splashing each other, jumping in and out of the spray.  I have an idea they were wearing those plastic sandals called jellies – or maybe they were just wearing their good sandals!

It was such a lovely day, bright and hot, and I closed my eyes for a moment, breathing deep. I opened them to see the image that has stayed with me all these years – the sunlight sparkling on the water, a heat haze over the wet sand and my four children visible through it as they played on the shore maybe 40 metres away, the sound of their squeals of laughter floating towards me. All wasn’t well with our marriage at this point and I don’t have a photograph, but this was a perfect moment out of time which nothing has ever been able to spoil.

These moment, these tender moments of the heart, I think come much closer to our true memories than any camera can ever capture. Sometimes you look at a photograph and although you know you were there – the proof is laid out in front of you – you can’t actually recall how it felt to be there, how YOU felt. Or you know that the photographer has failed to record the real all-singing, all-dancing you but instead has brutally chosen the moment when you are looking uncomfortable in a badly chosen outfit or were squinting at the sun.

All in all I prefer to close my eyes and explore the inner pictures which are much clearer, much nearer to who I really am and how I remember things. Often those moments aren’t the ones that are imperfectly captured on film, but are instead indelibly imprinted on my heart and remembered with infinite tenderness.

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Here be Dragons

It’s 50 years since man first stepped out on the surface of the Moon. Scarcely anyone will have missed that fact as it’s been splashed all over the news and social media. As one of the millions who watched the whole thing on telly first time around, I’ve enjoyed the coverage, the remembering. In particular there’s been a fascinating  podcast by the BBC World Service called 13 Minutes to the Moon which gives you all the inside stories on every aspect leading up to the momentous moment when Neil Armstrong made mankind’s “giant leap” on to the lunar surface on 20 July 1969. Here’s the link https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/w13xttx2/episodes/downloads – it’s well worth a listen!

I guess it’s in our nature, our very DNA, to want to explore our world and beyond. To find out what’s just beyond that bend in the road up ahead or what we’ll be able to see from the top of that hill – or from another planet! That urge to know can lead us down an unfamiliar lane just to see what’s there, or at the other end of the scale take us on mighty voyages of discovery to encounter whole new continents. Our maps have evolved over the centuries from drawings of shadowy lands marked “here be dragons” to the marvels of pinpoint accuracy we have today. Today WE can explore other continents from our armchairs just by typing a location into Google Earth.

A little voice at the back of my head suggests it’s not the same as actually going there, breathing the air, smelling the smells, feeling the ground beneath your feet. No, it’s not, but it’s what we do. We imagine. We explore the whole world, the whole universe, just by closing our eyes and imagining. Our brain is like a Tardis. For non-Doctor Who fans, the Tardis is the Doctor’s ship that can take him anywhere in time and space. The point about the Tardis is that it’s bigger on the inside than the outside. Just like our brains. Just like our ability to imagine places we’ve never been, futures that haven’t happened yet. And then we can come right back down to earth and go and sit in the garden to enjoy a sunny day in the here and now.

Neither are our explorations confined to filling in the unknown areas on the map. We also delve into the past, constantly trying to piece together the elusive history of mankind, not to mention of the very universe itself, right from the Big Bang until a projected point in the future when it will all presumably come to an end. We want to know. We need to know. And it’s not just the universe, there’s a whole world of self-discovery to be explored too. When things happen to us, when we go through big challenges in our lives, we often need to dig deep into ourselves in order to process these events and if necessary overcome them. And even without those challenges, most people have an insatiable curiosity to know more about where they came from, about the influences that have made them who they are. It’s all part of our human need to understand ourselves and where we fit in to the grand scheme of things.

So, when President Kennedy announced in 1961 that America would send a man to the moon and bring him safely back home again before the end of the decade, he wasn’t just expressing a vague ambition. He was tapping in to that never ending desire of mankind to be forever expanding the boundaries of the unknown. (Not to mention the USA’s obsession with getting ahead of the Russians in the space race!) JFK was in effect committing the resources of a nation to what was at the time an impossible aim. Whatever it took to develop the technology and the systems to reach the goal were devoted to the task – millions and millions of dollars, thousands and thousands of people hours.

There were many successes and failures along the way, including the tragic fire which engulfed Apollo 1 and claimed the lives of the entire crew. But the setbacks only made Nasa all the more determined to learn from their mistakes and do whatever it took to make things work. Until finally man did succeed in escaping the shackles of earth’s gravity and walk on another world.

BUT… however profound and wonderful that achievement was – and it was truly an unforgettable moment when the whole watching world heard the words “the Eagle has landed” and breathed a great collective sigh of relief – think of this… What if an American President, or some other world leader, announced an intention to eliminate hunger or pollution or homelessness by the end of a decade? What if there was no limit to the resources that were poured into fulfilling even one of those aims? In that case, it could be that if and when mankind ever again stands on the surface of the Moon watching Earthrise, we could do so in the knowledge that our home planet has become a fitting haven for all the souls that live there. It’s not impossible, after all look what we can achieve when everyone works together towards a common goal

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Desert Island Flash Mobs

So there I was, putting together my list of music should I ever be stranded on Radio 4’s famous desert island with only 8 disks, a book and a luxury item (as well to be prepared don’t you think?). Which song out of Les Miserables should I chose? A quick look at You Tube will help…

Except there’s no such thing as a quick look at You Tube! A couple of hours later and I was still no nearer to choosing between Do You Hear the People Sing and Bring Him Home, both stirring in different ways…

But I think I have chosen my luxury item – never mind the endless supply of pens and paper, or the marvelously comfortable pillow or even the concertina which I’d love to learn to play. No, it’s got to be a device to get me on to YouTube! Actually if I had that, I wouldn’t need any of the rest of it, I’d have the perfect companion to cover every mood and need. Well except for real human companionship of course – there’s really no substitute for a hug.

You know, when I first started listening to Desert Island Disks, way back in the sixties, the internet hadn’t even been invented yet. No internet shopping or Skype chats with your nearest and dearest on the other side of the world or online petitions seeking to right wrongs and change the world for the better… It’s even hard to remember how we managed without all this wonderful convenience we have at our fingertips nowadays. Mail order catalogues, expensive phone calls, demonstrations in the streets. Nowadays demonstrators can orchestrate their efforts on social media. Back in the day I it was word of mouth, phone calls, pamphlets. I suppose we just use whatever we have at our disposal, for better or worse.

Anyway, I digress. What caught my attention when I clicked on You Tube, was a video of a flash mob singing “Do You Hear the People … ” in a shopping mall somewhere in the mid west of the United States. Have you come across this phenomenon? If if you haven’t, type “flash mob” in to Google straight away! Or wait, maybe you’d better leave it until the next time you have a couple of hours to spare – if you’re anything like me you’ll get caught every time! I It’s just that I love watching the faces of the crowd when they realise what’s going on. It’s totally infectious and joyful. Go on, click on this link now – I defy you to watch it without a huge happy grin on your face!

Internet Inspiration

I’m working on something a bit special (and time consuming!) for my 50th post next week. In the meantime, for post number 49, I thought I’d share with you eight clips from the Internet that have inspired me in recent months. Mostly they have encouraged me to think a little differently about the world, given me hope or joy, or have even restored my faith in humanity – maybe they’ll do the same for you. At the very least I hope they raise a smile or two!

So, in no particular order, here are some random ideas worth spreading… (You might need to activate the sound on each one – copying seems sometimes to turn it off)